Searching For the Waters of Antiquity

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” ~ Mother Teresa

“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.”
~ Albert Einstein

From a spiritual standpoint, communication is probably the most important thing we do everyday. We all think we do our best to convey our thoughts about ideas to each other and for the most part we do. We send out a message to someone and sometimes we are lucky enough to find out that we have been heard. We may even feel that the other person has interpreted our message exactly in the way we meant to convey it. Only when things are not working do we stop to assess.

What typically happens is that the receiver gives a nod or eye contact and we believe the receiver understood us. Unfortunately that is not always the case. So there we go down a rabbit hole in an endless cycle of messages that go haywire leading relationships, business and families down a sinking hole of mistrust. This is why communicating well is so important to us. But how does it affect our spiritual selves? What makes it so essential to our daily lives, personal, business and spiritual? More importantly, why is it so difficult to make ourselves understood by the opposite sex, or in business and even within the same family? Because we all come from different perspectives, using different lenses to address the issues at hand. We wear diverse hats with varied backgrounds, come from sub- cultures and different perceptual experiences.

Each of us in our individual professions such as law, accounting, medical, business, human resources, construction, marketing, social services, (the list is endless) has a culture and language of our own. We have shortcuts to talking to each other and each of us comes to the table looking through the lens of their profession. Crossing over to the perspective of another profession, a culture within itself, is complicated. Then factor in all of the other subcultures: race and ethnicity, corporate culture, regional culture (where you live), personal style, gender, and the waters get muddier. It is a wonder that we communicate at all! (more…)

“There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.” ~ Freya Stark

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
~Josh Billings, columnist and humorist (1818-1885)

Many years ago, between my work as a therapist and my work as a life coach, I worked in a large public agency as a management trainer and performance coach. I taught managers how to work better with their employees, how to communicate with them most effectively and set performance goals that got the job done. In business, we have performance goals to keep us accountable to the Strategic Plan.

In everyday life we create our own performance goals to keep us accountable to our own life plan. A simple example that we can all relate to is, “I will perform eating better, by using XX dietary plan to maintain a median weight by October 22, 2008. We don’t always follow through, therefore, in business we have performance coaches, and in life we have life coaches.

As a life coach, I use a holistic approach, keeping clients nourished and connected to spirit.
What is lost to business is the nourishment that feeds us, and we long for a different job or retirement to get back to our true Self.

This was brought home to me one day as our organization got a new department head. I waited and watched as the new person settled in. One of our first conversations gravitated to values management, a hot term of the day that fizzled out over time. She let me know that she was “not what she did for a living” I thought this as an odd thing to say, since it is impossible to be disconnected to self for very long. I felt that there was a story there somewhere. I paid a lot of attention to her as she evolved over the 6 years that I worked there. (more…)

“Serenity isn’t freedom from the storm; it is peace within the storm.”
~ Unknown

There are magical moments in our lives, you know the times, when everything flows easily and effortlessly and the world is in perfect harmony. We are full of life, at peace, and know all is well. Everywhere we look there is beauty. We catch a glimpse a world in which anything is possible. Our energy has made the right shift, a light shift and we are vibrating at the optimum level of energy for greatest satisfaction. Not so high that we are scattered, not so low that we are uncomfortable with negativity… everything feels right, and we are in a curious state of calm. Now how do we nurture these conditions to keep them constant?

Sometimes we think that if we work at it, we can recreate the scenario that takes us to that level, what we call centered. We want to keep this magic alive and try to look for more things and circumstances to make these conditions repeat. A simple example is we have a great new car and feel on top of the world in this great new car. After the car is old news we must find a new thing to take its place. We go on a trip, we get an award, we help someone, our kid makes the honor role, we get the perfect job, the perfect deal, or some such thing–you know the drill. Mostly “things” and “events” shape the way.

We can continue to create these situations and conditions that help to manifest the state of affairs that will make our world great. Externals have their place to bring fun, color and joy to living, but they don’t make the kind of peace that I am referring to. What I am referring to is a stable, long term sense of inner serenity. The trick is to allow the good things in life in, while our inner spiritual power blossoms, without feeling like we have to continually perform. When we are performing, it feels like acts of desperation rather than serene states of faithful knowing. The work is to stay in alignment, that is, thought, feeling, belief, and desire connect and match consistently. Then of course, we must let go of the dramas that fill life in a negative way and move to mid ground to keep our energy pure. (more…)

He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings, and all beings in his own Self, and looks on everything with an impartial eye.
~ Bhagavad-Gita Gita

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a
field….I will meet you there. ~Rumi

I have talked to many people over the years, from the most traditional and dogmatic of religious seekers to the most out there on the spiritual plane. They all see spirituality as the way to inner peace as their traditions help them to transcend the ordinary and connect to higher consciousness. Growing in spirituality helps to expand our sense of purpose and transcend our ordinary lives, consequently questioning and integrating beliefs and values with actions. During this process we develop a tolerance of opposites and contradictions that exist within our world and belief systems. The same can be said true of a spiritual relationship.

Within our individual spiritual development, as we become more, a feeling of comfort exists within us as our place in the universe and a connection to something larger than us unfolds. We are happier, more peaceful, and realize full spiritual wellness. Individual happiness includes an expanded sense of Self as it relates to our core beliefs and how we and our beliefs fit in a bigger picture. The more global we get, the larger our scope, the more we need to integrate it all to make sense of it.

Meditation is useful to access our higher consciousness and inner Self. This place within us has incredible power, clarity and peace. Centering meditation allows our mind to open and fill with awareness and observation. While guided meditation moves spirit along by enhancing inner imagery to create expansion of perspective, just like opening up the windows or doors of a house, instead we’re opening up our mind and the windows of our lives. We are allowing the expanded vista that enables healing and change.

Once we know who we are today and where we are going, we can then connect better to those around us. Whether we are in long term relationships or newly together, it makes sense that we share our understanding of that inner self as we know it. A highly satisfying partnership begins or is enhanced by integrating spirituality into the relationship, creating a deep spiritual foundation for further growth as a couple. When two people in a relationship both believe in the greatness and importance of spirit, their lives become more unified, moving easily and effortlessly towards each milestone on their path.

When relationships are based on traditional religions, it seems more obvious how belief systems might play out. However, when there isn’t clear-cut dogma to draw on or the relationship has transcended the dogma, reevaluation might be the next step. A couple that hasn’t agreed upon a particular spiritual path or doesn’t reflect a cohesive belief system can feel disconnected. Clarifying one’s spiritual foundation can be the beginning of a whole new level of relatedness, bringing a close relationship closer, inspiring new depth and freshness into living. All aspects of lives are enhanced as we become more of who we are individually and together. How does one approach such an awesome undertaking? How do we connect the dots between two individual inner lives? The path is obvious on one level and mysterious on another, stay with me as we follow this intimate path from both perspectives… (more…)

“For it is in the giving that we receive.”
~ St. Francis of Assisi

We often hear it said that we should be grateful for the things that come into our lives. That an attitude of gratitude can move mountains and that it is important to thank the Universe for our daily bread, our clothes, our health and the other fine things that we are blessed with. Mostly we say the words in rote memorization for those things that we know we should remember to say thank you for and that is a good thing. As the old Jewish proverb says, “when we smile the heart follows.” We say these prayerful meditations learned by heart to praise the Universe and all that is brought forth so willingly.

We believe that it is our job to send this gratitude to the Universe, and in return the Universe will provide. That is the Law of Attraction and the Secret of living. What we send out we get back. This may lead us to think that the Universe needs our praise and gratitude, and this is a fair barter for all the riches provided, but this is not the case. The truth is that we need our gratitude. It is for ourselves that we need to give thanks, for our own sake. This has nothing to do with how the Universe operates. (more…)

The tradition of Valentines Day with its Hallmark fueled frenzy has taken on a life of its own. Studies show that many people, especially men hate Valentine’s Day. This is particularly true of men who feel like they can’t get a handle on what is expected of them during this time. Traditions that play out mechanically add stress, guilt and depression to relationships trying to find balance. This can sometimes make us feel isolated from the masses. Let’s be honest. Admitting that you hate Valentine’s Day is like saying you hate puppies and warm fuzzy kittens.

I remember one Valentine’s Day a colleague of mine came into my office in a huff. He snickered, flailing his arms in an expansive gesture of frustration. His eyeballs rolled back in his head as he groaned, “do you know I counted 42 pieces of red clothing on women today?” You know the typical, red blouses, little earrings that are worn to celebrate the day. He was clearly exasperated by the whole thing. “Why do women do this kind of thing anyway?”

I grinned as he flopped into a chair. “What’s the real problem Dennis?” “I don’t get it,” he said, “You know I can’t win with what I get her. She says she doesn’t want anything, but you know if I don’t get something I will never hear the end of it. And the worst is I have to get something bigger and better every year, its hopeless!” (more…)

If you touch one thing with deep awareness, you touch everything.
~Thick Nhat Hanh

From the beginning of time we have been attracted to each other and to the continuing cycle of life, to gain sustenance, grow and play out a destiny together. This attraction leads to admiration, love, and in due course, to higher vibrations of light energy. At love’s first blush, our combined energy is a powerful thing to behold. We can practically see the stars light up as we become the focus and center of the earth, of our Universe. We are in awe of each other as we discover the wonder and bliss of being together, being one. The mirror image is perfect as it reflects the joy and power of sharing. This is perfect love, perfect joy and perfect peace played out in a reflection of the other.

Romantic love is the prelude to a partnership in life’s journey. This powerful journey provides nourishment to the soul, and alas, ego builds as the perfect complement to life. More definition comes to the partnership as a family begins and we take our place in the community.

When we look down at our first child we realize this gift from the Heavens, the perfect creation and complement to life, has unfolded. Great steams of energy shift our personal light ever higher in a brilliant illumination that everyone recognizes. The joy and love in this reflection of self is an awesome experience that many share and all recognize. Love answers the ancient call to generate more love. (more…)

We are at the threshold of a great evolutionary and cultural change, and this journey will take us to a place we have never been before. Some are saying that the world, as we know it, will end forever. Maybe so, but not in the way one thinks. Since the beginning of time we have heard prophetic messages about world destruction, along with an array of doom and gloom.

The truth is, no one knows, because we do have free will and are co-creating our world as we go. Could it be that our negative world view set the stage for a negative interpretation? As we co-create our world, what would happen if we reserve the benefit of doubt around these magnificent prophesies? What would we see unfold?

Many centuries ago an ancient Mayan civilization talked of a great coming that would change our way of life forever. They prophesied that it would be on a grand scale. Some have interpreted this over time to be something cataclysmic, perhaps apocalyptic. This is not the case. We will gradually ascend to see our world differently, which will make our world different. What you send out, you get back. This is the law of attraction, and the law of the Universe. There can be no other. (more…)

“You must be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Everyone, from beauty queens to politicians, wants World Peace. What most don’t know is that peace begins with us! Peace isn’t about what is going on in the Middle East, peace is how we relate to every individual we meet on a daily basis.

Beginning with our self, every relationship we have is a stepping stone to World Peace. We move outward from our center to our spouses, children, parents, siblings, family members, co-workers, supervisors, church, school, and community.

As we become more at peace within our personal worlds, we will extend that peace outward like ripples on a lake. This spiritual unity will be achieved one person at a time and permeate our world. A great new world order is unfolding and this holiday season is a good time to reflect on the past as it relates to our future. Evolve to a place where we set a tone for peaceful relations with everyone we meet? How can we evolve to these great heights, you ask? Does that sound like a fantasy? Well it isn’t, just imagine, and peace will grow. (more…)

We spend our entire lives looking for ways to get what we want and to feel good. The fact of the matter is that it’s actually pretty simple. Here we have two choices in life: living a love-based life or living a fear-based life. Many feelings encompass these two areas. The first is anything that brings pleasure: peace, joy, acceptance, and those things that feel good. Then there is anything that brings pain: sadness, disgust, anger and fear. Of course there are many blends within feeling states, but we won’t be looking at blends.

Most of us vacillate between these two complex areas, bouncing back and forth like the proverbial yoyo. In the beginning, feeling good is at the core of all we do, just look at any infant. Infants are easy; they know how to do it without any coaching. They have no problem wanting to feel good: be fed, dry, warm and loved. It is instinctual and they are fully connected to the Source of all things. We know that by watching them because they are full of joy. That is the core of our being. Our natural state is pure joy, pure love and pure peace. You know it’s true. Look at anyone who has recently fallen madly in love. We have boundless energy, a bounce in our step and life is wonderful. Then we grow up or fall out of love. Either way we make subtle movements from our center core. (more…)